So i am sure by know every blog is beginning to sound the same, i don't feel good, i went to chemo..came home...don't feel good. Unfortunately that's all i got a bunch of not feeling good days. Yesterday i was so incredibly week, Tim and i walked to the trail near my Mom's house and it took me nearly 15 minutes once we started on the trail we sat on the first bench. As we where sitting there it almost made me jealous to watching the bikers and the runners and the walkers going by with such ease, and i could barley make it to the bench. At one point a girl jogged by blonde hair fit healthy and young and i just thought that used to be me i just to run 3 times a week and now getting out of the bathtub is a work out. I couldn't help but be a little jealous. I miss getting up in the morning and doing my hair and makeup and spending upwards of $200 getting my hair highlighted and cut at trendy salons, Ironic now that i have no hair. The stubble that was there from Tim shaving it is falling out and my eyelashes and eyebrows are going slowly. I thought i would be one of those people that still put makeup on even mascara on those last two eyelashes, but instead i do nothing. Its not that i don't want to, its just i don't see the point. I am either at home or the hospital and i don't think anyone cares. I will get a wig soon and i am excited i am sure it will make me look more human. Tim takes pictures of me everyday and i hate it, i would prefer not documenting all hospital visits and days just laying around. I can't wait until i feel more myself i can't wait until i can eat and not throw up and i just can't wait to go on walks without getting out of breath. By the way i am blogging from a brand new laptop given to me from my parents, its amazing thanks! Tim is so glad to have his back! So not much is new still feel like crap, still tired all the time but this is all part of it. I know soon i will feel better and my blogs will be about something so much more interesting than how crappy i feel! All my love
Mary