chemo today

Chemo went well today, Tim took me and we got home rather early. It is so nice only have 1 appointment a week. My parents came down to Seattle to visit afterwards and it was so great to talk and visit with them. I miss them a lot and its nice to be able to hang out with them even if i can't talk that much. I am feeling ok the pain is still really bad but my skin is healing well. I am looking foward to being able to eat and drink again! All my love

Mart

chemo tomorrow

Tomorrow i chemo and they will be using two drugs again, so i hoping i don't feel too sick, Tim will be taking me. I have been feeling ok i am still in a lot of pain and not able to eat or drink. I am trying to swallow its just extremely painful. I am still on the TPN and the feeding tube. My skin is healing really well and looks way better but pain internally is going to take quite a while to get rid of. The recovery process i think will be hard, learning to eat and drink and holding it down is always the hardest part. I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas! All my love

Mary

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas!! i had a wonderful day with my family, enjoy the photos!

All Done!!!

yay today was my last day of radiation! I was so surprised when i walked out into the waiting room my friend Cherise was waiting with a balloon and a card, the radiation team gave me this cute hand made certificate and they all signed it. My throat is awful and the skin is extremely red and blistering. I am just so excited that i don't have to have any more radiation although i know next week the pain is supposed to be worse and the skin will get worse as well. They gave me lotions and dressings and i will do that everday to try and speed up the recovery process. Internally the recovery process will be really slow, but i am hoping it goes a little faster. Enjoy the photos of the mask and my awful skin! All my love

Mary

2

Today my Dad is here to take me to radiation only 2 left wed is my last day! I am in a lot of pain, and am on plenty of medication but nothing really helps the pain. I am sorry to friends and family if i do not return your phone calls talking on the phone is hell, talking in general is awful. I try to drink something everyday but swallowing is so painful. I am always sleeping because i am so tired and the meds make me sleepy. I am really excited that i am almost done, but i know that that pain will get worse along with the condition of my skin for about a week after and then i should start the slow recovery process. All my love

Mary

4

Everything is going well, just counting down the days until radiation is done! Only 4more days i will be done next Wednesday. I still have no voice and its very frustrating not be able to talk. The pain is awful but i am managing it better with pain medication. I have little to no energy and sleep or rest almost all day. All my love

Mary

5 left!

After tomorrow i will only have 5 more radiation sessions left! Yay. I have lost my voice so its hard to communicate what i need or want and its just painful to talk. Tomorrow i will have chemo and radiation, blood work and check ups. I am in a lot of pain but i am so glad not to be in the hospital! All my love

lazy days

I am doing ok, i am in a lot of pain but am trying to manage it best i can. Tim and Deborah are a huge help, since i am not feeling well they manage my meds i have so many! Next week will be my last full week of radiation and i am counting down the days. I have little to no energy and can't wait to start feeling better. All my love

Mary

Single Digits

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while radiation is making me really tired. I finish radiation two days before Christmas so I have eight days of going to UW left, YEAH! After that I will start back on both chemo drugs and continue until sometime in June. Amazingly my pain level is doing a lot better than the doctors expected and we are hoping that I may not be admitted before Christmas. I still can't swallow and the skin around my throught has become very sensitive. But I am still here and thankful for all of the doctors and nurses that have worked so hard to help me get through this. Despite all that is happening I am really looking forward to Christmas. We already have some presents under the tree and I am doing some last minute online shopping. Let's hope that I can be home on Christmas morning to open them! All my love

Home

After 7 nights and 8 days in the hospital i am home. I am not feeling any better but am glad to be home! I am on the TPN at home and the feeding tube isn't working so well anymore. I have nothing in my stomach besides stomach acid so when i lay down and sit up i just throw up and its very painful I am trying to eat and drink water i have to i won't get better just having machines feed me all day, but it isn't easy. To make it worse all my meds go through the feeding tube so my stomach is all meds and antibiotics. I am just so confused how i got here, i can't keep anything down i am being fed through my port in my chest and through the feeding tube. It is really upsetting to not even be able to help yourself. I have so much medication some of it helps some not so much. I hope to feel better and keep some food down. Sorry to anyone that i haven't called back in the last 8 days i had no cell phone reception in my hospital room. I have radiation today and we are in the 3rd week so only 2 more weeks to go after this week!

Fevers

So my hope of going home was shot down last night after i got another fever. They are worried that i have an infection that they can't find. I have been on antibiotics for a week and am very nervous at the possibility of having c-diff again. Tim has been spending the night and its great to have him here but i just really want to go home!!

Hospital

sorry i haven't posted in a while i am still in the hospital and have been just really tired and sick. This is the longest i have been in the hospital tomorrow it will be one week. They are talking about releasing me tomorrow as long as i don't get a fever tonight. I keep getting fevers at night and that isn't helping. I am on TPN that means they are delivering nutreients through the port in my chest. I am not able to drink water or keep my feeds down. I am not sure why i keep throwing up and they have no idea either. Hopefully i can go home soon! all my love

Mary

getting sick of being sick

Radiation went well today, i am still in the hospital. The have started TPN, that means i am getting nutrients through my port. I am using the feeding tube but with not being able to swallow anything they want to make sure i am getting as much nutrition as possible. I am still in a lot of pain but i think i am starting to adjust to the pain just a little better. I am missing home and my Mom, Dad and Tim! My Dad took me to radiation today we have to check out of children's and then i come right back. I am getting sick of being sick but i have amazing nurses and Dr's and i feel very comfortable in their care. I am a little frustrated that i have no cell phone reception its hard to keep in contact with friends and family. I have been lucky to have some amazing visitors and that makes the day go by a little faster! Hoping to not be in the hospital that much longer

Worst pain ever!

Yesterday my Mom came to children's to take me to UW, I really appreciated that otherwise i would have had to go by ambulance. My Dad is coming down today and will be taking me today and tomorrow to radiation. I am obviously still in the hospital but i am hoping to go home today. Yesterday at radiation when they put the mask on it was so painful, it is so tight around my neck its awful i started crying half way through treatment but pulled it together toward the end. I met my one of my Dr's at UW yesterday and he thinks i might have something called thrush because the pain was so sudden and sharp. The are giving me meds to treat it and i am hoping that is part of the problem because it would make the next 3 weeks at least bearable. Tim came to visit last night along with his sister Deborah and sister in law Amber and we all played board games, i was extremely tired so it didn't last long but i really enjoyed the company. I really love having visitors it makes the long day in the hospital go by so much faster! All my love

Mary